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mithrifer · 9 hours ago
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while ive been using the morse code hc for a while the dog buttons are the only ones thatd be in canon.
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yeah i'm mad
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stellocchia · 2 days ago
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Thinking about queerplatonic Killer/Color/Ink/Error yet again.
Specifically thinking about them exploring different cities om Surface AUs together and finding small restaurants in those fuck off locations with food that absolutely slaps, trying all the street food, and taking pictures of the dumbest stuff. Half of Ink's camera roll is literally just stuff like this:
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They're having fun.
Error is sitting down any time he sees a bench and the others have to promise him chocolate to get him up again.
Killer stops at literally ALL of the dumb souvenir shops because he loves magnets, postcards, and also crappy t-shirts.
And Color takes all the most aesthetic pictures and all of the more couple-y pictures with the others. He's literally carrying a heavy-ass professional camera everywhere. He's also the type to grab a brochure from every place they visit and never read it. (Killer and Error do read it later together because they're nerds).
Just them exploring and living their lives, I love them.
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starburr · 2 days ago
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It probably never occurred to Sasha that she might have had feelings for Marcy and Anne in that way up until she started asking them about how they feel about what they three have, whatever it might be. I mean, they've all been through hell and back, but still sticking together. Not just out of a need to survive the very dangerous world of Amphibia, but the fact they chose to stick to each other. To choose one another in trust and life, even if sometimes betrayal was inevitable.
Maybe she blames herself for all of that. Ignoring the tell-tale signs of interest, chalking those moments before up to being 'a good friend' or projection even. In which case, she had to figure herself out about why she was projecting such hypotheticals. Marcy and Anne have had it way worse than her, at least that's what she thinks. The other two experienced near-death and temporarily dying, not to mention the self-esteem and trust issues. It's hard to there have been a lot to unpack over the course of them readjusting back into society. There were a lot of things to learn about themselves. She was bisexual after all, and sometimes, Sasha "didn't always feel like a girl." Marcy understands, nodding along on their late night Saturday call with a beaming smile, saying "I'll always support you Sashy." That made her blush. Sasha feels Anne get up from the bed behind her. She excuses herself from the sappy show, having gone up to use the bathroom. Coming back later, only to tackle Sasha in a hug while all giddy. Sasha doesn't miss the way a gentleness is set in her eyes as she giggles on, darkened earthy tones that she wanted to be painted in. Even after having long finished college, Sasha can't help but feel like a child on Christmas Day.
These thoughts might have seemed strange had it been 13 year old Sasha who was just thrown into Toad Tower prison thinking them, but now it seems strangely intimate. Like a whisper into the wind that only Sasha heard, it made her feel closer to the other two. She now knows it isn't out of convenience, or the fact that she's somehow still projecting. Sasha knows better now. There's no doubt she looks at the interactions she had with them, good or bad, now in a different light. Perhaps Sasha Waybright still holds them close to her heart, more fondly than before. Maybe one day when Marcy comes back to LA, hopefully for good this time, they'll all pitch in the idea to stay in one unit together. Maybe a cozy apartment unit, or a more spacious house generously provided by one of the three's distant relatives.
Whatever the case, it doesn't go unnoticed that Anne seems a little too eager for the idea. Sasha lets it slide despite knowing full well what Anne is hiding, nervously fidgeting in her purse to make sure the crimson-cut cards are still in there, claiming she was just looking for her phone. Maybe later, after a few visits and planning, they'll have rekindled fires long thought doused. Maybe later, they'll have a slip-up or two, but clear it up with a promise so vague they'd want to believe the good of it. Maybe later, at the end of however long this takes, when tensions are cleared and feelings poured out, there'll be one more happy throuple in LA.
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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
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royalberryriku · 1 day ago
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Nope, more just hoping for any chaos in general to be helpful. Like, this wasn't a deep analysis or a concrete "I think this will ruin the military", in fact I didn't even mention it bc I didn't think it would be affected. However, I do think it'll help right wingers lose confidence.
As for revolution, it really depends on what theory (as in what specific type of revolution) is being referred to. I personally think a greater land back movement and stronger push for fighting for civil rights is on the horizon since a lot of people are, as you're saying, banding together. Meanwhile, I personally wouldn't agree with a Trotskyist revolution because I think that IS outdated and tbh never a good idea to begin with for a number of reasons (I have my own criticisms of the base theory but I won't get into that here lol).
I think it's important as well to note that I do very much agree with you, *but* it's also important to recognise you have to have enough love to fight for what's right and protect people you care about. I know that's obvious to say and probably something you already meant here, but I think it's applicable to resistance against systematic oppression in the sense of uprisings as well. Like I literally don't think the system used right now in the US is a sustainable one and tbh I personally see it as very totalitarian so I wouldn't put my energy waiting for it to be fixed from the inside.
Uh, basically, what I'm saying is actually more simplistic and not implying much beyond what I stated at face value; I think the failures to meet the expectations of right wingers (especially far right groups who have used Trump as a reason to become more active) will make them lose morale and slow down their ability to be as reactive in the long term, and potentially (though this is more just a hope than realistically what I think will happen) said failures making it difficult for governing bodies to remain as organised as, say, during a Biden administration because they'd be so focused on the mess Trump is causing due to his incompetence. Again, that's just a wistful hope, not so much a "I think this will definitely happen". I'm more focused on how continual failures will make him appear less of a figure for right wingers to follow and potentially lead to some advantages for activists to push the opposite.
But either way, yeah no, I agree that we should be all banding together. Been saying exactly that the whole time too.
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He really talked Trump into naming it DOGE huh
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teaboot · 7 months ago
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I've received asks on the topic a few times so I think I'd like to address the subject as clearly as I can
Okay, so like. You're on vacation, right? And you decide you want to go swimming. And you could go to a pool, or a lake, or the ocean, or the river. Wherever you want. And you see on the map that there's this one place called The Alligator Hole.
So you go there, and there's a sign on the shore that says "WARNING: ALLIGATORS", right? And you decide to go in. And when you get there, there's alligators. So you get out!
But then you go back in, with a stick, and you start hitting the alligators.
Because you don't want alligators where you're swimming!
And the impulse is understandable, because lots of people don't like swimming with alligators. Alligators are scary. Being in the water with alligators can be very stressful and damaging for people who aren't prepared to deal with alligators.
But at the same time, you must understand- there will probably always *be* alligators. Hitting a few with a stick probably won't eradicate them from the planet. There are SO MANY alligators! All over the world! And the vast majority of them will never ever hurt any swimmers!
And at the end of the day, nobody pushed you into The Alligator Hole, right? You saw a place literally called The Alligator Hole and decided that you wanted to go in there, and then you made life miserable for all the alligators.
Sure, there are places you like to swim where alligators probably shouldn't be- like suddenly, in your bathtub, uninvited and unwelcome, in the middle of the night- but alligators have to go *somewhere*, you know?
So if there are going to be alligators, no matter what, and we don't want to be surprised by them, then isn't it nice that we have places like The Alligator Hole
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tshortik · 9 months ago
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Turn on "prevent third-party sharing" in your settings!
Go into your settings, click on your blog name, scroll down and enable "prevent third-party sharing". I'm gonna be honest, I question how much/if this even prevents any AI bullshit, but do it just in case anyway.
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Edit: On Mobile it's the Settings Gear, Visibility, Prevent third-party sharing.
You have to turn that on for all your blogs separately.
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occudo · 8 months ago
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Lonely Knight Seer Mage Pining Hours
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youling-the-ghost · 1 day ago
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YES TRANS DEREK!!! (you didn't misinterpret it I very much intended the trans Derek subtext haha)
I'm so glad you like this!!! :D
mornings with him – a ditch ficlet
Derek found comfort in his strange yet endearing morning routine. word count: 800
A ray of sunlight peeped through the curtains and cascaded itself onto Derek's bed, jolting him awake. The clock on the wall indicated that it was 6 AM. Derek groaned and dragged a hand down his face, cringing at the stubble that covered his chin—he felt like a teenager, all gangly limbs and awkward changes to his body that he hadn't quite grown accustomed to yet. It was comforting, in a way.
Derek sat up—or at least, tried to sit up. He almost succeeded before a pair of arms dragged him back into the bed, snuggling him into the pile of blankets and pillows. Derek let out a muffled cry of protest, but the arms didn't relent.
"Love," Derek said, the words buried in an airy laugh. "I need to make breakfast."
Titch groaned and leaned his body onto Derek's so that there was basically no space between their bodies, nestling his face into Derek's neck.
"Breakfast can wait..." he murmured. "I'm cold."
"It's August," Derek deadpanned. To be honest, he was overheating in Titch's arms and the blankets.
When Titch showed no signs of letting go, Derek sighed and resorted to his contingency plan; he grabbed the arms that held him hostage and pried them open, which proved to be quite a difficult task—despite what his stature might suggest, Titch was incredibly strong.
In the sliver of time that he bought himself, Derek lunged forward and dove out of the bed, landing on the wooden floor with a soft thud.
Titch mumbled some nonsense, incoherent and jumbled by a half-conscious brain, in protest. Derek planted an apologetic kiss on Titch's cheek and ruffled his blonde hair, which had a golden sheen from the sunlight that peeked through the curtains.
Derek snuck one last glance at his lover, whose face smoothed into a tranquil expression as he presumably returned to dreamland, and found himself smiling. He had come a long way, both of them had. It felt like just yesterday when Titch was lighting candle after candle, refusing to sleep until the first crack of dawn peeked through the night.
Derek grimaced at his reflection; his hair was sticking up in every direction, and he was in desperate need of a shave. He patted his hair in a vain attempt to school it, but the pile of curls immediately stuck back out again. Derek sighed in defeat and decided that he'd bother with his rebellious hair some other time, instead shifting his attention to everything else that needed fixing.
Shaving was something that caused Derek intense annoyance and euphoria in the strangest of oxymorons. The act itself was tedious, and if he had the option to, Derek would absolutely choose to never have to pick up a razor again.
But in a way, the razor in his hand and the shaving cream on his face represented progress that he never thought would be possible. It was a symbol of his growth, his comfort in his own body, which was beautiful despite all the tediousness.
Derek flinched as an improperly-angled movement caused a shallow gash across his cheek. He could do without all the blood that he had drawn in the process of learning this strange aspect of manhood, though.
The shaving cream washed off his face with a splash of water and Derek dragged a hand across his now-smooth skin. It felt like velvet between his fingers. Derek smiled. He was proud of himself.
The pink apron was an essential part of the cooking process, and this was only partially a joke.
Strangely enough, all of Derek's best and fluffiest flapjacks were made while he donned the frilly baby pink apron that James got Titch as a joke for Christmas one year. It was a strange phenomenon that was difficult to explain every time someone asked why he was working in the fields while wearing something that looked like it belonged to a Barbie playset.
Lost in thought about aprons, Derek barely noticed the arms that snaked around his waist.
Derek chuckled. "Good morning, love," he said without turning around. "So you finally woke up, huh?"
"Mornin'," Titch mumbled into Derek's shirt.
Sometimes it was hard to believe that the Titch currently clinging onto him like a koala on a eucalyptus tree was the same standoffish, emotionally closed-off Titch that he was first introduced to years ago.
Derek didn't bother shrugging Titch off. He didn't mind the physical contact; he quite enjoyed it, actually. The two stayed like that in silence, with the only noise in the room being the ambient sizzling of the pan and whirring of the range hood.
"I love you," Derek said as he placed a finished flapjack onto a plate.
"Yeah."
Derek knew that it was Titch's way of saying, "I love you too."
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turtleblogatlast · 4 months ago
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Something about this kind of swimming getup for characters always immediately gives me transmasc vibes. Blue swim trunks and a tank top? Sorry man my brain already connected the dots. The vibes are there, and they’re not leaving.
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lastoneout · 2 years ago
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why do people on the internet know so much about the epic of gilgamesh
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ask-queen-arti · 1 year ago
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(the ask box is open!)
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rafeandonlyrafe · 1 year ago
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live like a kook
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words: 5.2k
the camerons take you in after your house is destroyed in a hurricane, giving you a month to live like a kook
warnings: enemies to lovers, lots of pogues vs kooks dynamic, rafe being mean to reader, reader is john bs cousin, food insecurity/mentions of going hungry, cursing
taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs
“dad, this is fucking ridiculous. no way am i sharing my home with a fucking pogue.” rafe argues, his voice raising higher and higher as the fight goes on.
“well, get over it rafe. we are doing our part for the community, this girls house got destroyed in the hurricane, she’s staying here for the next month. end of story.” ward says firmly, hoping to temper his sons anger before you arrive.
“bullshit, you don’t care about helping the pogues, all you want is to look like a good guy.” rafe runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead. “it’s not safe. we can’t trust them, what if she steals from us?”
ward pauses. it’s something he did think about, which is why he went through the house and hid the most valuable items, locking them away in a secret safe. “you keep an eye on her then, rafe.”
it’s the end of the conversation as ward walks out of the room, even after rafe continues after him, not accepting his dads solution. wards patience with his son is about to bubble over when the doorbell rings.
ward gives rafe a pointed look to calm himself down, or at least be quiet about his disdain as he opens up the door to reveal you standing there, only carrying a backpack, fitting all of your belongings after losing almost everything in the hurricane.
“hello, mr. cameron, i’m y/n.” you stick your hand out, accepting the firm but friendly shake ward gives you.
“y/n?”
you look around ward into the house, making eye contact with a shocked rafe.
“you didn’t tell me it was- her who was going to be staying here.” rafe spits, looking at his dad, nostrils flaring in anger.
“rafe, watch yourself.” ward warns, stepping back from the door and beckoning you over the threshold.
“hi rafe.” you say quietly. you had foolishly hoped that rafe wouldn’t mind you staying here. it’s not like you ever really interact, but you know that he doesn’t get along with your cousin john b.
ward gives you a tour of the house, introducing you to rose and wheezy, and the whole time rafe stalks behind you, silent and domineering. 
“thank you again for letting me stay here.” you say when ward shows you what is to be your room for the next month, situated between rafes and sarahs, who is currently out, probably with your cousin.
“of course.” ward says. “i’ll give you some time to unpack, we are serving dinner in around an hour.” “okay.” you nod, heading into your room, shutting the door carefully behind you. you glance around the opulent bedroom, so unlike what you are used to, large sweeping curtains covering the windows, sturdy wooden furniture, and best of all, the huge bed covering most of the floor.
you drop your backpack, letting yourself flop back onto the bed, letting out a laugh when you realize that even the ceiling is beautiful. 
you weren’t sure what to expect when you got told that there were some people opening up their homes for those who lost theirs due to the hurricane, but you certainly never expected it to be the camerons, or any other rich kooks.
you’re still smiling to yourself when your door bursts open. your eyes widen as rafe takes up the entire doorway, not asking permission before barging into your room and slamming the door forcefully behind him.
“hey!” you shout, swinging your legs to the side of the bed and turning to stare at rafe. 
“shut up.” rafe warns, quickly crossing the space between the door and the bed, hovering over you. “i want to make one thing very clear.” he holds up his pointer finger, pausing as you flicker your eyes from his hand back to his face. “do not touch anything in this house. if you steal like your loser pogue cousin, i will know. i will be watching you.”
rafe doesn’t say anything more, he doesn’t need to, turning and walking out of the room, leaving your door flung wide open, not bothering to even shut it behind him. you shiver at the warning, not that you planned on stealing, but you did plan on a peaceful stay here, and it seems like rafe is committed to the exact opposite.
you stand and shut your door, this time making sure to lock it.
--
“that’s screwed into the wall.” rafes voice suddenly rings down the hallway, making you jump away from the painting.
“i wasn’t going to steal it.” you grumble, crossing your arms. you were still familiarizing yourself with the house, spending some time wandering alone, but around every corner, rafe is there.
“then what were you doing staring it?” he questions.
“admiring the art, if that’s so hard to believe. yes, rafe,” you say with a sigh “even a dirty dumb pogue like me can appreciate a painting.”
“well then you don’t mind if i stand here and watch as you appreciate it.” rafe crosses his arms, muscles bulging. you turn back to the painting, looking over the landscape scene, but rafes eyes are drilling holes into you, and just like he wanted, you quickly get too frustrating, groaning and stomping away.
you head out into the garden, needing a breath of fresh air and to look upon the ocean. 
“he’s an asshole.”
you jump, not realizing wheezie was in the hammock you stopped next to.
“what?” you question.
“rafe. he’s an asshole.” “you said it, not me.” you sigh, taking the hair tie off your wrist and pulling your hair into a ponytail as the wind picks up.
“just try and avoid him when he gets in his pissy moods. he’s not like this all the time.” wheezie gives you a piece of advice as she swings her legs over the side of the hammock, heading back inside.
you watch her until she’s all the way in, before glancing up and realizing that rafe is watching you as well. your brow scrunches in anger and you turn, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you angry again.
you head towards the expansive dock, marveling at how far it stretches out into the ocean as you plop down on the wood, swinging your feet over the edge. your eyes are on the horizon as gray clouds roll in, probably a cell from the recent hurricane that broke off.
you keep your back turned to the house, not wanting to retreat yet as you watch the storm roll in, scenting the air change as the temperature drops. you wrap your arms around yourself to keep warm as the wind picks up, but the rain still hasn’t reached you yet.
you daydream about living in a house like tanneyhill. not for a month, but for your whole life. of getting out of your small cottage, now being rebuilt by your deadbeat dad, and living a life of luxury like the camerons.
strong hands grab onto your upper arms, pulling you to a standing position like you weigh nothing. “what are you doing?” rafe asks, shaking you slightly, his eyes wide with what you think might be worry.
“get off of me!” you shout, pulling yourself out of his hold.
“do you want to get yourself sick? it’s cold, and there’s a storm coming in. get inside.” rafe stares at you expectantly as the first sprinkles of rain starts to fall. you want to fight, to push back, but you also don’t want to get soaked, walking past rafe without acknowledging him as you both head into the house just before the downpour hits.
rafe doesn’t even glance at you as he pushes past, heading to his room.
--
“y/n, you wanna come with me?” sarah asks, slinging her bag over her shoulder, probably going to spend another night at john b’s. she’s been away from tanneyhill more often then she’s been here ever since you arrived.
you glance at rafe who is sitting on the couch, phone in hand. you’re not sure if he’s even paying attention to whats going on.
“sure.” you reply, “just give me a second to get changed.”
“alright, john b will be here in 5 minutes in the twinkie.” sarah heads outside to wait as you move up the stairs, taking off your leggings and opting for a pair of shorts instead, slipping your tennis shoes on.
you gasp in surprise when you open the door and run right into rafes wide chest.
“i heard you’re going to hang out with the dirty pogues.” rafe says, taking a step back when you push against his chest. you know he’s choosing to let you by, and if he wanted to he could have stood firm.
“in case you forgot, rafe-” you shoot him a pointed look as you head down the stairs. “i am one of those dirty pogues.” rafe stays put as you head outside, and you’re thankful to get some time away tanneyhill as the twinkie pulls down the street.
“hey, it’s my favorite cousin!” john b shouts when he sees you getting in along with sarah.
“john b, i’m your only cousin.” you roll your eyes, turning to watch out the window as tanneyhill disappears from view.
it’s nice to catch up with your friends and cousin, spending the afternoon relaxing and talking around a campfire. you are especially happy pope is here, always getting along so well with him.
“there they go again.” pope sighs when kiara starts to fight with jj, both of you rolling your eyes at each other, wishing they’d just work through whatever repressed feelings they have for each other.
“hey, john b, can you give me a ride back to tanneyhill?” you ask, noticing it’s start to get dark.
“aw, can’t you just stay here?” john b asks, his tongue obviously loosened by the beer he was sipping on. “i hate that my cousin is there, taking the kooks charity.” “just because you don’t want any help doesn’t mean that i can’t accept it.” you say, raising your voice. “besides, you knew our house got destroyed and you didn’t even reach out. you were too busy with sarah.”
you stomp away from the chateau, heading down the dirt driveway, determined to walk back to tanneyhill if john b wouldn’t give you a ride.
“y/n! wait!” if it was john b calling for you, you wouldn’t have stopped, but you turn to face sarah. 
“listen-” you interrupt her before she can speak. “i’m not mad at you. i’m not even mad at john b. i’ve just been through a lot and want to go ho- back to tanneyhill.” “i’m sorry.” sarah pulls you into a hug, one that you didn’t realize you needed that much. “john b’s probably too drunk to drive. i texted rafe to come pick you up.”
you sigh, trying not to let your disappointment show on your face. you really don’t want to spend time alone with rafe, but you thank her and tell her to tell rafe that you’re starting to walk so to keep an eye out on the way, figuring it would be better to distance yourself from the rest of the pogues before he got to you.
you spot rafes truck after walking for a few minutes, watching him slow to a stop before you climb into the passenger seat.
“thanks.” you whisper, not sure what else to say as rafe presses down on the gas. you expect him to turn back towards tanneyhill, but he’s driving you in a different direction.
“where are we going?” you ask.
“i doubt you ate anything good while you were with the pogues. you need to get some real food.” rafe pulls into town, finding a parking spot that would fit his truck.
“rafe, it’s okay, i’ll eat at tanneyhill.” you say, but he just gets out of the truck and walks around to your side, yanking the door open and gesturing for you to get out.
“i see what you eat at tanneyhill. it’s never real meals unless it’s what rose makes, and she’s out tonight with my dad. just come on.”
you slide out of the truck, watching rafes back as he walks away, expecting you to follow. you stay a few feet behind him until rafe turns into a restaurant, again holding the door open for you as you duck inside. it’s not one you’ve been to before, probably because it’s out of your price range.
“just the two of you?” the hostess asks. rafe nods in response, and you’re quickly shown back to a table.
“rafe, i-i can’t afford this.” you say when looking at the menu. you can’t even afford just an appetizer. 
“you don’t think i know that, pogue?” rafe rubs his brow. “i’ve got it, just eat, please.”
you study the menu, opting for a simple chicken and fries, along with mozzarella sticks. afterall, rafe is paying. he orders a burger for himself, not even glancing at the waitress who took your orders, like she's beneath him.
“did ward put you in charge of me or something?” you ask after sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes, waiting on your food to be brought out.
“i don’t want to be sharing a house with someone who is sick because they refuse to eat right.” rafe says. “i don’t want to find you passed out because you didn’t get enough food.” rafe leans back in his chair, glancing over you. “that would just be an inconvenience.”
“ah.” you nod, keeping your eyes on the empty place in front of you until your food is brought out. your stomach growls at the smell, not realizing how hungry you truly were, so used to going all day without a true proper hot meal, surviving on snacks and whatever else you could find.
you dig into your food, moaning when the melted cheese enters your mouth after biting down on the mozzarella stick.
“hey!” you shout when rafe reaches across the table and takes one of the sticks, biting the end of it off. 
rafe just grins at you while chewing, making you shake your head in laughter. you continue eating your meal, not even realizing that you just had a nice moment with rafe until later that night when you’re laying in bed, reflecting on your evening with rafe. he didn’t make a big fuss when paying for the bill, simply sat his credit card down and didn’t mention how you were broke, then drove you back to the house and bid you goodnight upon entering tanneyhill.
you press your cold fingers to your cheeks, willing them to settle down as you shift underneath the covers, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself, reminding yourself that one nice thing doesn’t mean rafe doesn’t hate you, afterall, like he said himself, he just doesn’t want you to be an inconvenience.
--
“mr. cameron, i really don’t want to impose!” you say, but ward just shakes his head. “nonsense, y/n. you’re coming with us.”
“let me help you with your hair, dear, come on.” rose ushers you towards her bedroom. you give wheezie a pleading look, but there’s nothing that she can say to get you out of going to midsummers, not now that ward is determined to have you come with them, showing off how generous and charitable he is by taking you in.
you sit still as rose patiently straightens your wavy hair, only to recurl it, pinning sections up until it’s mostly swept out of your face besides for a few face framing strands, then cascading down your back.
“rose-” you breath catches in the mirror. “you did amazing, thank you.” you turn to look at the woman. “i’ve never had my hair done like this before.” “you look beautiful, y/n. it’s a pleasure to have you with our family tonight. i think sarah is in her bedroom doing her makeup, maybe she can put some on you too.”
you nod and head towards sarahs room. you didn’t want to go at first and be surrounded by kooks, but now that you have no choice, you might as well enjoy feeling beautiful for one night. sarah already leant you a dress, but she agrees to do your makeup as well, keeping it light and fresh before helping you sort out putting on the dress.
you look in the mirror at yourself, unable to resist twirling, the fluttery skirt of the dress billowing up on the bottom. 
“girls, it’s time to leave!” you hear ward call, and you finish off the outfit with a flower crown of pale pink flowers to match your dress before rushing out of the room.
you head down the stairs, gripping the railing so you don’t stumble in your borrowed heels. 
rafe looks up, ready to chastise you for taking so long, when his breath catches in his throat, eyes going wide.
“not too bad for a pogue, huh?” you question.
“you look…” rafe trails off, his soft expression quickly being replaced with an angry one, stomping out of the room without finishing his sentence. you resist the urge to chase after him.
you don’t see rafe until hours later. you’ve been paraded in front of all of ward and roses country club friends, but you just put on a smile and boast about their generosity. you’re not sure if anyone can see through the fakeness, but ward seems pleased, and finally lets you stop mingling to rest your tired feet.
you watch the crowd from the camerons reserved head table, feeling like such an outsider, knowing this isn’t where you belong, and if you weren’t scrubbed clean and dressed like them, the kooks would be turning their nose up at you. at least rafe is decent enough to not try and hide his hatred behind a nice face.
you spot rafe in the crowd, whisky glass in hand as he talks to his friends, a bright smile on his face that gives you a funny feeling in your chest. you rub the spot with your hand, willing it to go away as people clear out from standing on the dance floor as the music starts, a few brave couples being the first one to begin swaying to the music. 
you watch as ward and rose dance, eyebrows raising up when they turn their attention to you. “y/n, come on!” 
you consider ruining having a place to stay and sleeping on the street tonight, but you’ve put on a good act so far, you can continue it for a bit longer. you smile and walk over to them, expecting to be shoved into the arms of some random kook boy, but instead you’re ushered to rafe.
“dance, you two!” rose calls, grabbing a champagne flute from a passing waiter.
rafe holds his hand out, looking at you expectantly. you hesitate to place your hand in his, making rafe sigh. 
“you don’t know how to dance, do you pogue?” he questions.
“maybe i just don’t want to with you.” you place your hand in his, letting him tug you closer, his other hand resting against your waist while you grab onto his shoulder. you follow rafes lead, matching your footsteps with his as he sways you around the floor, glad the song is soft and gentle so you can just move slowly.
“see, this isn’t so bad.” rafe says, looking down at you.
“could be worse i suppose.” you hum, keeping your gaze straight forward at rafes chest as the song comes to an end.
the lights dim, and a romantic song comes on. you go to pull away from rafe, but he keeps you close to him, wrapping both arms around your waist and leaving you no choice but to put your arms around his shoulders.
you look to see all the other couples pressed close together, women with their head against their mens chest, some even kissing in the low lighting.
“just relax.” rafe whispers. “you’re so tight you’re gonna snap.”
you let your body relax in his hold, not realizing that you were clenching almost every muscle in your body. your head falls against rafes chest as you dance, letting yourself close your eyes and be swept away in the loving lyrics of the song, once again daydreaming about if this was actually your life.
the song ends far sooner than you’d like, and the lights brighten again. the crowd claps for a moment, but you’re locked into rafes arms, both of you now standing completely still. you can hear his steady heartbeat against your cheek, his breathing slow and deliberate.
“you look beautiful tonight.” rafe says, making you jump, almost forgetting who you are, and who he is. “that’s what i didn’t say earlier.” rafe clarifies, face falling when you look up at him in horror. you pull away from his arms, instantly missing his warmth as you run as fast as your heels can carry you out of the crowd, needing to get away from the music and the man.
you look down at your borrowed dress. you would rip it off or roll in dirt if you didn’t have to give it back to sarah, hating that this is what rafe finds beautiful. when you’re primped up to look like one of them, not the real you.
you find a dark corner to sit in until the party starts to disperse, and when you find the cameron family again, rafe isn’t with them, and no one mentions it as you pile in the car to head back to tanneyhill.
--
“are you sure you don’t want to come out on the boat with us, y/n?” wheezie asks you, but you shake your head.
“i’m okay, i’ll just stay back and read. i don’t want to impose, enjoy some time as a family.” you can tell already from being at the camerons for three weeks that they rarely do things as a family, at least one person, usually rafe or sarah, being left out.
“alright, i guess it’s you and rafe staying home. lets go!” ward calls, ushering the girls out of the room.
“wait, what?” you call, but they’re already out the door. you thought for sure rafe was going with him. you haven’t spoken a single word to each other in the past three days since midsummers. he’s barely even been around, you’ve just caught glimpses as he left for the day or came home.
you make a late breakfast for yourself, deciding since you’re basically home alone to fry up some bacon. you’re too nervous to use the kitchen for anything more than grabbing a quick snack when rose or ward are home.
you hum to yourself as the oil sizzles in the pan, finishing cooking your meal when you hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.
“rose, is that bacon?” rafe calls, entering into the kitchen with just a pair of basketball shorts on, freezing when he sees you.
“they all left.” you say, swallowing and resisting the urge to let your eyes track all over his torso. “but um, i made extra if you want some.” “yeah, let me just put a shirt on.” rafe walks away and you take the opportunity to fan your face, dividing the bacon up between two plates and sitting down at the counter, starting to eat when rafe rejoins you in the room.
you both eat side by side in silence, and you’re glad to not be talking. you finish your food, going to put your plate in the dishwasher when rafe takes it from you and does it for you.
“thanks.” you say under your breath, going to turn away when rafe clears his throat. “what is it?” you question, voice coming out harsher than you meant it to.
“i’m going to golf today. did you want to come with me?” rafe asks, not meeting your gaze.
“i- i don’t know how to golf.” you say as your way of refusal.
“right.” rafe nods, letting his shoulders drop.
“dirty pogue, remember?” you question.
rafe doesn’t say another word, he doesn’t even look at you as he leaves the room. you watch him walk away before closing yourself in your room, only moving to peek out the window when you hear his truck start up, watching it speed away from the house.
--
“y/n, you have a visitor.” ward says, ushering you towards the front room. you stand up, confused, not sure who would be visiting. it’s not like you have any friends who would come to tanneyhill.
“dad!” you shout in surprise, seeing him standing in the foyer, looking out of place in his dirty shorts and tank top.
“hey, y/n.” he says casually, like it hasn’t been four weeks since he saw you last, shipping you off to stay with a kook while he fixed up the hurricane damage on your house.
“what are you doing here?” you question, looking to the base of the stairs where rafe is stood on the bottom steps, arms crossed and watching the interaction with a scowl on his face.
“i finished fixing up the house enough for you to come home.” 
“oh.” you nod. you’d completely forgotten in your time here that you were only staying for a month, and that of course your dad would be here to collect you. “let me just get my things.” you force yourself to turn away and rush up the stairs, letting a few tears slip. you don’t want to go back to staying in a broken down house, and you especially don’t want to stay with your dad, having to fend for yourself completely while he spends all your money on drinks at the bar, not even leaving you enough for food.
you head into your room, wiping away tears as you shove things into your bag, including some clothes sarah was going to donate but she gave to you instead.
you control your breathing and stop your tears before you head downstairs, making eye contact with rafe as you walk down, unable to read the emotion on his face.
“thank you again, mr and mrs cameron for letting me stay here.” you say politely, and the both pull you into awkward hugs. 
“and bye, wheezie.” you squeeze the teenager against you, whispering a promise to come back and hang out.
you turn to rafe as your father walks out the door. you can’t find any words, so you simply turn and leave.
--
“dad, i need to buy food.” you argue. “i’m starving!” “you just want to pig out on fast food! we have things here you can eat!” your dad slurs his words, gesturing to the broken down kitchen. there wasn’t as much done in the month that you were gone that you were hoping for. he’s cleaned up the hurricane damage in most of the rooms, but tree that fell onto your bedroom is still there, simply hidden by a closed door, relegating you to sleeping on the old couch.
you curse as your dad stumbles into his bedroom, opening the kitchen cabinets to look for something edible before landing on a packet of saltine crackers.
you take the packet outside along with a water bottle, needing to get away from that house and your father. you sit down on the swing hanging from a high tree branch, crunching on the crackers as you listen to the birds chirping.
the mockingbirds song is interrupted by the rumble of an engine, and you turn towards your driveway, shooting up to stand when you recognize the truck getting closer.
you walk towards the truck, confused at why rafe is here, wondering if maybe you left something at tanneyhill, but it’s already been two weeks since you left. maybe he only just now bothered to return it.
rafe gets out of the truck, his eyes wide as he takes you in.
“how are you already so skinny?” rafe questions, taking the saltine cracker out of your hand and looking at it with disdain. “is this all you have to eat?”
“rafe, what are you doing here?” you question, snatching the precious cracker back.
“i-fuck!” rafe runs both his hands through his hair, “i was worried! and look at you! is he feeding you at all?” “rafe, calm down. you’ll wake him up.” you try and shush him, but it just makes rafe angrier.
“wake him up? does he hurt you? y/n.” rafe grips your upper arms, staring you straight in the eye, needing to know if what he suspects is true.
“what? no, rafe. he just drinks then passes out, he’s never hit me.” you’re still confused why rafe is even here. 
“get in the truck, i’m getting you food.” rafe demands, and your mind says no, but your rumbling stomach has your feet moving. you climb into the passenger side, looking at your broken down home thats truly no more than a shack. you wonder what rafe must feel seeing it as he gets in and starts the truck, backing out of the driveway.
you bring your knees up to your chest, letting your head fall as you sob silently. rafe doesn’t realize that you’re crying until your body starts to shake. he stops the truck in the middle of the dirt road, not caring if it blocks anyone else.
“y/n?” rafe questions, unsure how to get you to stop crying, worrying that it’s his fault.
“i don’t wanna go back there.” you admit, looking up at rafe, letting him see the messy state you’re in.
“fuck it.” rafe sighs, unbuckling both of your seatbelts and pulling you onto his lap, wrapping his strong arms around you as you press your face into his shoulder, letting your tears run free, not caring about the wet stains you’re making on his clothes.
“it’s okay.” rafe rubs his hand up and down your back. “you don’t have to go back there. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. i’m here.”
you cry harder, wrapping your arms around rafes waist, keeping yourself close to him, letting yourself find comfort in his arms.
“i’m here, y/n.” rafe whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.
you look up at him, tears still flowing down your face. “why? why are you here?” “i told you…” rafe cups your cheek, trying to wipe away the tears but they just keep flowing. “i was worried. i had to come check on you… please stop crying.”
rafes words do nothing to stop the deluge, and he’s starting to freak out, hating seeing you so upset, knowing you need some sort of distraction as your breathing speeds up, starting to hyperventilate until rafes lips are pressed against your own.
you’re momentarily confused, hesitating for a split second before kissing back, letting rafe dominate your mouth as you concede, the tears slowing to a stop as he keeps kissing you.
“rafe!” you gasp when he pulls away. “you just kissed me.” “i know.” rafe wipes his palms over your cheeks, and this time theres no fresh tears to replace it. “i care about you y/n. it’s why i came. i missed you.”
“oh, rafe.” you lean forward, letting him hug you tight, squeezing your bodies together.
“i’m here.” rafe whispers again, not letting you spiral, reminding you as many times as it takes that you’re not alone, that you have him now.
“now,” rafe gives your forehead a kiss, “we need to get you some real food. what are you hungry for? pizza?”
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narislvr · 6 months ago
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HEY THERE, SUBW4Y GIRL
one-last-stop au ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ | e.williams x fem!reader
cws? reader wears glasses and is on the bigger side (not mentioned yet but we need more love for chubby readers!!) reader is a college student working at a diner, ellie is a blip in time but reader doesn't know that yet, love at first sight trope but you're both awkward 🧍‍♂️, no use of y/n for reader, this blurb is moreso an intro to the world so not much ellie yet (might be a series if it dies well!!) Spoilers for the book, and will have some direct quotes.
m.list [๋࣭🪻] part 2 [ 🌆 ] palestine-resources & daily click
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"Her eyes are bright and teasing and warm, warm forever-and-ever brown, and august doesn’t know how she could possibly do anything but whatever this girl says." pg 20
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You weren't going to cry.
you weren't going to cry over the shitty smell of pancake batter and honey that wouldn't wash off despite your half hour shower ── the smell bonding to you after working too many late hour shifts at the diner ── and you definitely weren't going to cry over the scorching feeling of the coffee cup leaking small droplets of what you were considering your only energy source onto your hand.
you were already running late for your first morning class of the semester, but if you found your right train on time ── which you've already memorized out of fear of this exact situation ── then you'd still make it before it became too noticeable you were late.
sure, things were already going far worse than you'd hoped for, from having to pick up a late shift the night before at the 24/7 diner you work at, leaving you with four hours to sleep before having to get up and get ready for class, to dealing with a rude barista in the coffee shop above the metro station who couldn't even bother to tighten the lid of your cup.
things were not going great, but you were determined to make things better.
to your dismay however, determination alone wouldn't be enough to turn your luck.
amidst your attempt of carefully closing the lid of your coffee cup, you don't notice the group of teenage kids running your direction until one of them bumped into you with a grunt. the coffee, which had been one source of your annoyance this morning, spills across your top staining the once white fabric of your long-sleeveed shirt an opaque shade of brown, and to add to your already shitty morning, you hear the sound of your phone hit the pavement with a loud crack.
The teenager gives you a quick look up and down, their expression contorting into one of horror as they look at the stain on your top and the state of your phone on the floor behind you. ──if that's the way they look at you, then maybe you shouldn't even try looking at yourself── deciding that you wouldn't fight a fourteen year old, not that you would've anyways, you bend down to pick your phone off the ground, your lips forming a tight frown as you look over at all the various cracks on the screen of the phone you had worked so hard to afford.
despite the feeling of a knot tightening further in the back of your throat, you stayed true to your promise.
You weren't going to cry.
Your train pulls up only a few moments later, and you quickly blink back the tears before stepping aboard. to your luck ──if you even want to risk calling it that── the car wasn't as full as you though it'd be. usually it would be a great thing, not being crowded by people, but right now as you stood holding the handlebar, it really hit you just how disheveled you must look to others. Your hair was frizzy, your eyes were teary, coffee soaked your shirt, and now you smelled like a mixture of coffee, pancakes, and faintly of vanilla body spray.
You were a wreck.
you feel someone move to your side and you cringe slightly, your shoulders stiffening as you kept your gaze on the floor. you hear the unzip of a bag, presumably the person beside you getting something out, and you shift your gaze to sneak a glance at the stranger at your side expecting, but hoping it wasn't, a creep ──it's a subway, you never know what could happen in a 15 minute ride── but to your surprise, you're met with sun bleached black converse and baggy jeans next to your own white converse. Slowly your gaze moves upward, noting the way the person's foot tapped rythmicly the floor beneath it before you get a better look at them.
And fuck do you get a good look at them.
The person who you expected to be some lanky guy, perhaps some skater boy, perhaps a creep ──again, can never be too cautious── was actually... a girl. Round cheeks, with a softly scrunched and freckled nose, a girl so pretty you thought you were hallucinating. Her hair was a dark shade of auburn, half her hair up in a small ponytail while the rest fell a little over her nape. On her head were a pair of old looking headphones connected to a Walkman that stuck out the front pocket of her messenger bag as she searched for something down at the bottom with a small smirk. Did she know you were looking? What was she looking for that had her looking like that?
don't be a creep, you thought to yourself, trying to tear your gaze from her right arm. The sleeves of her faded blue flannel were rolled up just above her elbow, exposing the intricate design of ferns and a ──still in the works── moth on her forearm. don't be a creep, you repeated to yourself in your mind as you look away from the beautiful stranger at your side. Why'd she have to appear exactly when you looked your worst?
"Yikes," She finally says, her smirk still ever present on her face as she looks up to face you now.
The hottest girl you've ever seen just took a look at you and said "Yikes." What the fuck.
You were dumbfounded ──inwardly horrified── and she can't help but chuckle as she finally finds what she was looking for in her bag. It wasn't a mocking chuckle. no. it wasn't something lighthearted, curious, and you swear the temperature had risen in the subway car.
"Here," the girl says, pulling out a burgundy colored scarf and holding it out to you. "You look like you're going somewhere important, so," She gestures vaguely at her neck, "keep it."
You blink once, processing her offer before coming out of your trance and shaking your head, "You─ oh my God, I can't take your scarf."
The girl shrugs. "I'll get another one."
"But it's cold."
"Yeah," She says and her smirk shifts into something unreadable for a split second before your attention is caught by the dimples that had formed on her freckled cheeks. "But I don't go outside much."
You stare for a moment and she does as well.
"Look," She starts, her hands fidgeting slightly with the ends of the scarf, "You can take it, or i can leave it in the seat next to you, and it can get absorbed into the subway ecosystem forever."
She drags out the end of her sentence with a playful lilt, her smirk softening into a grin and in that moment her eyes are bright and teasing and warm. warm forever-and-ever a hazey green, and you don't know how you could possibly do anything but whatever this girl says.
A moment later you give in to her offer and reluctantly take the scarf from her hands. The wool is soft and light in your touch, and when your fingertips brush against the ends where the girl had been fidgeting with it earlier, you feel a pop of electricity. The girl, who had been watching you carefully, laughs under her breath, the sound airy as she reaches out to help you wrap it around your neck in a tender motion. She steps back after a moment, and gives you a look, the same teasing smile as before as she raises a brow at you.
"Anyone ever tell you you smell like pancakes?"
Before you can respond, the train plunges into a tunnel. The car shudders on the tracks, and the girl lets out a small yelp as she almost loses her balance and reaches for the hand rail over your head. It all happened suddenly but the last thing you see of her is an unreadable purse of her lips and the beginning of another tattoo on her left arm as she lifts it before the fluorescent lights flicker out.
The darkness lasted a second, two at most, but when the lights came back on, the girl was gone.
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manwhore-malewife · 1 year ago
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Literally just dumping Scarab sketches I did while watching Fionna and Cake (ft. Prismo)
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